Relax, Relax, Relax!


By Marian Lemise Celebrant

Keys to being able to relax before and during your wedding are:

  • Knowing your own style.

  • Knowing how you usually deal with stress.

  • What is your usual planning technique?

  • Maximise your coping strategies.

  • Have good support people.

  • Relax before the big day!!!!


Essential to a smoothly run event is that the star gets the chance to relax, but remember that some nerves make for a stellar performance.

Leaving it until the day before the wedding is too late! Start weeks before with time to pamper and chill. Massages, facials, nails, home spas, etc

Massage or a relaxing experience on the day is good, because you will have gone crazy the day before, and there will be nothing left to do!

Your Style

Are you a long term planner?

Start planning at least a year before the day! Actually, you probably already started years ago...... Leave as little to the last minute as possible, and get to know and trust your “staff”. Remember to factor in times to pause and relax, you may need to have massages or beauty treatments, and a fitness regime all included in your plan.


Are you a “last minute”, “she’ll be right”, no plan kind of gal?

You will be able to pull it all together, as usual. You will probably induce stress in those around you, but they need to remember that despite outward appearances, you have it all sorted in your head, and you’ll have a frenzy of activity at the last moment. You will be likely to be relaxed about it all, but need to be careful not to be burnt out by the time the wedding day arrives.


In between

This is probably the best place to be, a rough idea initially, and a plan to follow, but prepare for a big push near the day


Control Freak or Panic Merchant?

This all depends on your ability to deal with stress, you can be a long term planner, with low stress levels, or with high stress levels. Look at major events in your life and observe how you coped. If stress debilitates you, then that is something to consider, and to plan for.


Easily stressed by big projects

Don’t panic! Just hearing those words starts you panicking! You need helpers, and to be able to delegate. Put things in perspective, your wedding is important, but your loved one will still love you if the flowers come out a slightly different shade of pink. If a long term planner, relaxation and even a couple of visits to a counsellor would be good – this can be a professional in the field, but your best friend, mother, event planner, celebrant or any trusted person who will support you will be perfect.

If a “last minute” planner, then you have to make sure that you know this about yourself, and factor it into your plans. Talk to friends and professionals about ideas that can be worked in at the last minute, or just hand over to them. Plan times of quiet and solitude, you are probably working it all out in your head, and need time to think. Know yourself, and that it will all come together on the day.


Control freak

Beware! You are the most likely to be disappointed by a minor mishap on the day, so make sure you have strategies in place for any occurrence. Do not have impossibly high expectations, or be prepared to let go.


You have a tendency to over plan, so try to keep it simple, and do try to delegate to those you really trust and know are capable, and they also need to be happy to be micro-managed, if you must! You might benefit from counselling, massage, etc, as long as you treat these as an important factor in the process.

Built-in Flexibility

Be organised, as I said, the day before will be hectic. Have a plan, and then delegate, unless you’re a control freak, if you are not, find a control freak to take over for you. If you are, delegation should be to that trusty team of minions, if you must!

Have a dream plan, but keep in the back of your mind that it might not run exactly as you plan, but plan to love the day, whatever. Some of the hitches turn out to be the highlights!

Remember, the people make the party – invite the best!

You will look beautiful because you are in love – focus on why you are there, take plenty of deep breaths, keep shoulders down, relax abdomen and enjoy.....

The more organised you are, the less you will stress on your special day. Acting like a bridezilla or groomzilla will not achieve anything but leave everyone a bad taste, which is not a desired outcome. Your bridal party, guests and family will follow your lead – acting calm and put together is contagious. Take a deep breath, know you have done everything you can possibly do and leave the rest to fate.

Marian Lemise has been a massage therapist and  a counsellor, and understands the importance of relaxation in our busy world.